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I find it funny that I no longer post very often here on DA but I will still check in and every time I do I check for a note from a girl I thought I loved.

She no longer even has a profile here.

Not sure if it's habit, curiosity or hope. :)
  • Listening to: Freakonomics
  • Reading: People Blogging about Life
I have written this journal so many times. I was always afraid that I was going to wake up tomorrow and it wouldnt be true.
But it is true. It's been true for weeks for months almost now. I am happy.

Happiness born of an almost intrinsic belief in the control I exercise over my life and my happiness.
The knowledge that happiness is not something to be found but a choice we make every day.
I think I finally see now that perfection is inherently imperfect that we have to find perfection in the imperfect.

My portrait project has been quite simply life changing. More than I could have hoped for, the people I have met have have had a profoundly positive effect on my life. The people I have had long conversations with on park benches, empty parking lots, busy street corners, under bridges, they all surprised me to be honest, because what I found impressed me. I found little bits of myself in each of them and I found ways that I wanted to be better, saw things from perspectives I had not considered. I see each one of these people that I conversed with as a lens by which they were kind enough to let me see the world through and by seeing the world thru their eyes I have come to see mine more clearly as well.  

Strangers: A Portrait Project…

I believe in a world of beauty and happiness. Not because it is inherently that way but because I perceive in that fashion. I think we can construct our own utopia with imperfect materials and find perfection in that imperfection because that is our condition, to always be searching for perfection knowing that struggle will be our constant companion. Love it. Live it. Share it. Life. It's what we have. It's all we have.

Make it your own.
  • Listening to: Ever The Same
  • Reading: Patterns in Static
What's different this time is I am traveling alone and the only object is to find inspiration in strangers and strange places.

Lately I have been traveling quite extensively through the western United States.
Now its time head east!

I want to photograph nearly everyone I meet, create a catalog of faces and find one person each day to profile.
I feel that there is so much beauty in this world and if I could stand back and take it all in at once it would make my heart burst. I want to find little pieces of that beauty in the people I meet, and record it. I am in love with that beauty with that discovery, the epiphany of letting go, stop trying to control and manage and just absorb, reveling in and learning from it all.

I will post the faces here at the conclusion.
  • Listening to: Absence of Fear - Jewel
  • Reading: The faces around me
Just wanted to let everyone know that I won't be around for a while. I need to reevaluate, reset and figure out what I am doing. It's as if I only believed in one thing and I came to find out that that belief is no longer true or perhaps was never true to begin with. How do you deal with that?

So if I don't get around to reply to comments and messages for a while you will know why.
Thank you for all your support, I honestly believe that DA is the single most important factor in my development as a photographer. Being surrounded by so much talent and genuine support is an honor.

Thank you!
I finally got a much need overhaul uploaded to my website! As frustrating as it was I actually kinda enjoyed becoming proficient at CSS : )

Anyways I would love to have your thoughts, whatever they might be, on design and navigation. I kinda would like some lighter pastel colors for my wedding section but I just cant decide on what colors exactly...
  • Listening to: You Don't Know Me -Ben Fold & Regina
I never thought I would log in to see 500+ messages waiting. When I saw that I just started laughing. :D

Thank you Famz! for the DD on… I am so glad you chose to feature that deviation. It has a lot of personal meaning to me and I know so many people can relate to that same fear.

Thank you to everyone that has commented, favorite and watched me!
I always tell people that the DA community is the best thing that ever happened to my photo. There are so many talented artist on here who have showed me that really, *anything* is possible.

I have decided to quite school and pursue photography full time starting the second I finish me last test on December 11th! I really think I could have come even this far with out the support and critique of all of you, so thank you so very much.
  • Listening to: All That I've Got -- The Used
Meet the Family Half my Family :D
  • Listening to: Curse of Curves -Cute is What We Aim For
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard after a client meeting. :laughing:

I was interviewing a client and wedding planner the other night for a 2009 wedding and she wanted my biggest package + album and E-session so I really wanted to impress her. Just so happens I finally got the question, "do you have any formal training in photography". I have been expecting it for a while but I was still surprisingly unprepared for it. Anyways I ended up saying something to the effect that, "photography degrees are a waste of time". The wedding planner interrupts me here and says, "I think you just got yourself fired. I spent 4 years getting a photojournalism degree."

Needless to say, it was one of those, "oh sh!t, did I say that?" moments. So I quickly backtracked and told them I was a concept driven photog not a texbook nerd, I threw in some technical terms like bokeh, and DOF being a function of focal length,sensor size and fstop. I think I must have said something right because I just got an email saying the bride has mailed the contract. :D

So now that you know my uncensored thoughts on photo degrees. What do you guys think? ;)
  • Listening to: I Do - Jewel
I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right I swear I'm right I swear I knew it all along. anyways...

A client just emailed me tonight and said, "we loved your photography and it was great to hear your thoughts on our wedding, shoots, etc. We would love to have you shoot our wedding next year."

I was surprised that he decided so soon, I just met with him about 2 hours before. I am not sure why I am writing this, I guess because it make me really happy. I spend so much questioning my work wondering if it had any value, well I placed a value on it and someone paid it. Feels good. gotta take the small victories when they come right?

moving on...
I just spent 2.253 dollars on gear. But it's bed time so I will have to brag about it later ;) :P
  • Listening to: Gravity - barielles (just cant get enough of it!)
Have you ever wanted so bad that it hurts?

I think I need to reevaluate my photography from a conceptual point of view. I think that my water series most closely defines who I am as a photographer. Yet lately I have been doing what I think I should be doing and not what I really want to be doing. Not innovating just regurgitating what I see other people do.  

When referring to band photography Joey Lawrence said he would rather take pictures of a bunch of guys holding swords than take the typical stand-in- an-alley-and-look-mean picture. I like that attitude--no limits, not afraid to redefine your field or challenge the incumbent style.

I want to succeed
As soon as I figure out what that means I will let you know.

enough about me what do you guys want?
  • Listening to: Gravity - Sara barielles
I think i understand why people say they FINALLY finished their website. Learning all this stuff from scratch was very frustrating...informative :D

Check it out!
Photo by Chris Walter

any insight you guys have would be very much appreciated.
I just finished my first year of college.
With all the cramming I have been doing lately, It's an odd sense of freedom.
I don't have to study.... anything!

Know what that means? More Photo! I'm really looking forward to doing more water portraits and it's almost warm enough : D Unlike when I did this damn shot link ;)

I want to send a big thank you out to Kkart for featuring me in his journal. I really appreciate his support and everyone else that has found me through him. Makes we wanna shoot even more! :D

So if you don't know :iconkkart: head over to his gallery. He is one of favorite landscape photographers, right next to gilad .


My last journal was about photography and obsession, if anything I think the obsession is really just setting in, especially with all the new watchers I am getting thanks to kkart :D

But anyways some really cool stuff happened to me recently. A few weeks ago I was randomly contacted by a friend of a friend on Facebook.  He wanted me to shoot second at a wedding even tho he had never met me! So I got my first photography commission! :) and I now have an interview tomorrow with a full time photographer to shoot second at her weddings.

The other thing is I am set up to shoot with three semi-pro models. The funny part is I met two of them in a art gallery... weird.   

So these next couple weeks should be pretty interesting.
I'm no longer sleeping or doing homework. I spend all my time visualizing art or shooting, 24/7 its actually kinda of frustrating I just wanna sleep sometimes.... I can't stop thinking what I am doing wrong and how to improve it, how to shoot the next concept.

I feel this inexplicable challenge to become popular on DA. Because popular photographs = compelling photographs.  I wanna take photographs that compel people to view them and I think popularity would be a somewhat impartial measure of success. ;)
Damn Da....
:iconeverything-nikon: :iconbeautifulfotography: :iconrebel-photography: